Lean into friends and family members who have opposing ideas to yours. Often, we feel so strongly, when we hear people who we love share thoughts and opinions and even “facts” that are contrary to our own passionate thoughts and opinions, our reaction is to be horrified and fight for our beliefs.
What if both thoughts could be true at the same time? How would that change your response?
The things we find most important are often developed by experiences, whether first or second hand. If another person does not have those experiences, or has opposite experiences, how can they see your meaning?
Build a bridge. If we cannot connect and build a bridge with those we love, how can we possibly expect to change this world? If we are fighting fire with fire, there are serious consequences, likely ending with everyone losing.
- Find common ground
- Listen to the person’s views and experiences.
- Validate them
- Do this in a loving space (Facebook and Twitter are NOT loving spaces, FYI)
- Connect and show up shoulder to shoulder, even if it is on the phone or video. Picture yourself next to your person, not across. This is not a stand-off.
- Be vulnerable. Leave your protective armor off. You will be hurt. But you cannot connect with all your walls up.
- Stay vulnerable. You must model the vulnerability and show your friend that you are willing to be hurt because what you believe is so important to you.
- Stay strong and soft at the same time. Your friend is fully armored and you must create a safe space for them to let the walls drop. As Brené Brown says, “Strong back, Soft front, Wild heart”
My hope is that this allows you to connect better with your fellow man. Humanity is hurting and it is all of our job to be the one to bridge the gap.