Ten Tips for Effective (Social) Networking

According to my friend, Lorie Gonzales, networking is more than just “working a room”. It is about forming honest sincere relationships that benefit you, the other person, your careers and your lives. It allows you to connect not only with other people, but with new ideas and information, better business practices, job opportunities, potential customers and vendors. The following are ten steps to effective networking. I have added how each step should be achieved in the virtual world of “social networking”.

•  Adopt an attitude of self-confidence and start with a positive attitude.
  • ¨       “Meet the people, meet the people, and meet the people.” In other words, mingle; don’t spend all your time with just one or two guests.
  • ·         ONLINE: In social networking, if you aren’t having conversations with your new connections, then you are just standing in the corner. If you wouldn’t do that in a live networking event, then don’t do it online either.
• The number one rule is “Attraction vs. Promotion”.
• ONLINE: Set yourself up to “attract” the right people. You do this by “wearing the right clothes. Oh yeah, we are online. So you do this by sharing the right information. Share info about YOU, not about what you do.

• Bring enough business cards for the event and have them readily accessible,
• Arrive on time.
• ONLINE: : is this necessary online? YES! When you are clear about your purpose for social networking, then you will know what to say and when to say it.

• Wear something distinctive which might be a topic of conversation.
• Commenting on others “signature pieces” of clothing is a good conversation opener.
• Show that you are more interested in the other person than you are in doing a “sell job” on you or your company.
• Pay attention to your grooming.
• ONLINE: Topic of conversation will be about your profile. Make sure to include that information about YOU—how many kids do you have, what books do you read, what do you do when you are NOT working. THESE are the online conversation starters.
• ONLINE: ALWAYS check profiles of your connections to discover what you have in common. Then connect and listen.

• Decide in advance why you are attending the event
  • ¨       To socialize?
  • ¨       To learn about the industry?
  • ¨       Are you looking for a new job?
• Realize that each person may be interesting to talk to but you only have a limited amount of time and energy.
• ONLINE: this is the MOST IMPORTANT ITEM in your social networking. If you don’t know what you are here for, you are going to waste a lot of time and energy. KNOW YOUR PURPOSE!

• Have an effective handshake.
• ONLINE: Your handshake is your hello. Be strong and inviting.
• Make positive eye contact and have a pleasant facial expression.
• ONLINE: Your eye contact is your connection. Peruse the new friend’s profile to find something of interest. Use this information in your message.
• Be able to describe what you do in fifteen seconds or less using everyday language not cyber babble.
• ONLINE: In fifteen seconds, you cannot read a sales letter. DO NOT direct people to your web site when you first meet them. IF THEY ASK what you do, then be able to describe your business and your clients in 10 words or less. If they are still interested, they will let you know.

• ONLINE: your link to your site is not appropriate until someone has asked you. It is more appropriate to direct people to your profile and/or to a group or business page, because your friends can learn more about you in a non-threatening environment.

•  Validate what the other person is saying.
• Maintain eye contact—OK, this one is not necessary for online. J

• Don’t send the wrong message.
• Don’t gaze about the room when in conversation.
• Maintain an open stance.
• Don’t approach two people who are facing shoulder to shoulder.
  • ¨       It is likely they are engaged in a private conversation.
• Make direct eye contact.
• Offer a warm smile and be approachable.
• Don’t fold your arms or put them in your pockets.
• Light up your face.
• Lean into the conversation.
• Don’t touch another unless you know them well.
• ONLINE: Your body language online is your tone of conversation. Make sure to use complete words (don’t abbreviate, unless you are micro-blogging), use proper salutations, don’t add fluff—stick to real conversations, be approachable!

• Always save face.
• Be gracious.
• If you have many people to meet, after two or three minutes, disengage from the conversation and move on to meet another person.
• Give the other person “unconditional positive regards” …In other words, your undivided attention.
• Don’t just walk away if you see someone more interesting. Always make a closing statement before moving on, e.g. “Please excuse me. I see someone I’ve been looking for all night.” Or, “It was really a pleasure meeting you. I’ll look forward to seeing you again soon.” Summarize what was said.   “Oh, it looks like you have a fascinating job. Good luck on your project.”
• ONLINE: Most people simply do not respond when they are ready to disengage. The better approach is to kindly let people know you are not interested if they are selling something or end the conversation appropriately as you would face-to-face.

• ONLINE: This is SO important. If you tell someone you are going to share a resource, don’t forget! Also, continue to engage with people. As the relationship grows, take the conversation to the phone, or even to a face-to-face meeting.